Without a true streaming server at the other end there is no way to say "restart the download from this point". So you need to download the whole file in one go to make the pause/replay work.
That said, a true stop button to throw away the download and start over could probably be added. I didn't write the Flash control, I just hacked on one I found.
General help
How do I stop the multimedia plugin?
This discussion has been locked so you can no longer reply to it.