I have this same problem, as I have seen the size of a particular class grow (up to around 466 users), the gradebook has taken longer and longer to load. That is to be expected.
So about 466 grades are what the gradebook would be pulling for this particular course.
My guess is that it is a timeout issue or something to do with the larger amounts of data, because our other courses which were test courses have only 20 - 30 users enrolled, and they show the grades fine.
I am also in a windows environment, but using sql server 2000. Also, we are using moodle 1.8.2
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UPDATE
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Temporary fix:
I temporarily resolved this issue by changing a variable in the php.ini.
I increased max_execution_time to 120
The amount of time you will need to increase this number is going to be purely dependent on the number of grades you are expecting. So i would aim high while testing.
I am not sure what kind of vulnerabilities or consequences setting this number high will result in. Maybe someone else can comment on that. For now its a reasonable fix for us.